Commonly Asked  Questions About Serious Relationships

Commonly Asked Questions About Serious Relationships

We are different. And the differences, no matter how insignificant they may seem, have an impact on the choices we make every day. That is, what we choose to work on and ignore, when we choose, the selection criteria, and the behaviour thereafter. Relationships are similar. They say opposites attract so here are a few questions you should consider.

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1. Who is an ideal partner?

An ideal partner is not the wealthiest or the poorest person you’ll meet. An ideal partner is not the most beautiful or the ugliest person in the room. An ideal partner is not the most or least fashionable person. An ideal partner is not the one who posts you in every social media platform proclaiming love. Pays for all your vacations, or wipes particles of dust before they reach your cloth.

An ideal partner is the one who accepts you wholly, grows with you, for you, and for themselves. An ideal partner doesn’t make you feel insecure or irrelevant. He/she allows you to grow in all aspects of life. An ideal partner is the one you feel most comfortable with when the world is silent, when no one cares about the internet, vacations, or the outside world. An ideal partner is not like your best friend’s partner. An ideal partner is your heart’s choice and peace. An ideal partner is your destination and the most interesting adventure.

With an ideal partner, there is comfort and happiness.

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2. How do you know that the person is the ONE?

Your heart and guts will tell you. Although at times we choose people who later choose others, a time comes and there is no doubt that whoever you are with is the one.

3. When do you know the person is the ONE?

There is no standard time for it. Sometimes it takes years of self-awareness and learning about and from each other to get the conviction. Other times, eyes meet and all the cards fall into place.

Then again, dating someone for years does not guarantee marriage thereafter. Some misunderstandings can create irreconcilable differences. With some, it’s the kiss, the right word at the right time, their reaction towards some situations, or how the personalities match.

4. When is the right time to marry?

Whenever you feel it’s the right time. It’s not after acquiring a certain amount of money, age, degrees, years of experience, wealth, or after mom’s pressure for grandkids. Although the mentioned factors need consideration, you might lose trying to have what others have. Don’t do it if you aren’t ready.

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5. What is the pillar of relationships?

There are multiple pillars for a lasting relationship and effective communication takes the lead.

P.s Nobody can read your mind so speak up.

By communicating, you know what your partner wants, when, how they want it, number of times, what they detest, why, and can eventually agree how to live harmoniously.

No matter how uncomfortable the conversation may seem to be, talk about it as openly and exhaustively as possible. Talk about the goals, success, failures, sex life, finances, and what you expect from each other.

6. What should you avoid in a relationship?

Lying and withholding information from your partner. Nobody can choose lies over brutal honesty. If something makes you uncomfortable, bring it the table and dissect to the last bit. Although there may be instances when your partner thinks you are rude or insensitive, this should not lead you to lying. They may not say a word for days or weeks. At least you’ll have a clear conscience knowing you helped them realize how they are leading their lives and how they can attain their highest and most admirable selves.

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Remember you are not irreplaceable hence; do not make your partner feel unworthy of love or unappreciated. Even though you are unique and nobody can offer what you offer in your way. Even after grand weddings, they can easily get the love they deserve elsewhere.

7. What should you definitely do in a relationship?

If you’ve decided to be in each other’s lives, know that it is no one’s responsibility to text first, call first, buy gifts, or plan surprises. As soon as you embrace that it’s every person’s obligation to create a home, everything flows smoothly.

Remember, sometimes the warrior needs to be fought for and the minute he/she realizes the unreciprocated efforts, he/ she stops trying and the couple successfully grows apart.

8. Will money have an impact on the relationship?

Money has a huge impact in the relationship (this is not code that you should marry the poorest, laziest, or richest person you can find). From the method of acquiring (inherited, lottery, earned) to spending, the couple can either break up or grow together.

Set goals, define the responsibilities, and develop a code of methods of acquiring and spending.

Few people are likely to settle with partners who engage in illegal businesses or squander the money and have no interest of mending their behaviour despite constant reminders.

Also, if only one is catering for the bills, without any form of support, they can easily opt for a break. Those who don’t spare time for their loved ones can also find themselves in a black hole of regret and nursing heartbreak.

Money can’t buy happiness in entirety. You can buy your dream car but the money cannot fill the human desire for concern and support. You can lie in bed ill, with billions in your bank account, but if no one cares to know whether your drugs are available or have taken the recommended meals, the wave of emptiness can easily engulf, and depression kick in.

With that in mind, don’t push your boyfriend or girlfriend away after attaining a specific amount of money thinking they have nothing to offer.

Money gives power. Nonetheless, your non-working or low-earning partner is not worthless. The ‘trivial’ deeds of preparing breakfast, taking care of the kids and the home are important.
Money has an impact in every stage of a relationship.

9. Whom should I approach first when tragedy strikes?

Your partner.

He or she may not know there is a pending matter in the relationship and the most unpleasant news is hearing about it from a friend, accidentally or willingly. Some people see this as not caring about the relationships but sometimes, the partner could have underestimated the impact of the pending matter on the relationship or looked at it from a different angle. Whatever it is, communicate fully and seek solutions together.

10. What is a perfect relationship?

If you mean where there are no mistakes or arguments, you won’t find any. People interpret “Perfect” in whichever way they want. Nobody is perfect. You may find that your significant other, the person who eliminates all your doubts and fears, throws dirty socks everywhere or likes too much sugar in their tea. Even those who look like they have it all together fight and make up all the time.

Are you now ready for a serious relationship?

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